Whoever hath her wish, thou hast thy Will,
And Will to boot, and Will in overplus;
More than enough am I that vex thee still,
To thy sweet will making addition thus.
Wilt thou, whose will is large and spacious,
Not once vouchsafe to hide my will in thine?
Shall will in others seem right gracious,
And in my will no fair acceptance shine?
The sea all water, yet receives rain still
And in abundance addeth to his store;
So thou, being rich in Will, add to thy Will
One will of mine, to make thy large Will more.
Let no unkind no fair beseechers kill;
Think all but one, and me in that one Will.
— Sonnet 135, William Shakespeare
Please note that as well as being the short form of his name, the word “will” (in typical Elizabethan style) was a slang term for both penis and vagina. If you listen carefully, you can hear Shakey sniggering to himself across the centuries.
Happy birthday, you smug douchebag.
and “will” was also slang for desire/lust, so like there’s 3209482 ways you could read this sonnet and all of them will be a dick joke
I’ll take my shit from hell where it’s warm and toasty.
Shannon (via alouettesque)